My weekend

I've tried multiple times to try and type a post out about my weekend - but I either don't have time to really get it done, or don't have the words to describe it.

I learned a lot of things while Adam was gone. Most were not very spiritual, but important as well.

1. I don't do well at home alone - ended up staying with a friend 2 out of 3 nights.
2. God wants me to trust that He'll take care of me. I worry way too much about everything.
3. Just because things don't go the way I plan doesn't mean that it's not in God's will - because I am sinful and don't always know exactly what God has in mind.

I learned more...but unfortunately do not want to post in a public blog for all to see. It was probably the hardest weekend I've ever had - aside from the weekend that Christ saved me. And while the weekend I became a Christian ended so joyfully and peacefully, this past weekend did not end that way. I want to study some parts of Scripture that demonstrate those who have joy amidst their trials and pain, because it's very difficult for me to do that. How does one have joy when things hurt so bad? I know there is a "Christian" answer to this, but to me it seems much easier said than done. Perhaps those who have joy amidst their trials are those who trust God so much more than I do. I pray He teaches me to trust Him more, because I know I cannot do it on my own strength.

Alone

Adam is gone for the weekend. Being by myself has allowed me to enter an interesting place of reflection. There aren't many times where I can sit at the table and not hear anything else but the low hum of the refrigerator and the clicking of the keys.

I have thought of the upcoming weekend as a boring, desolate, lonely one. But perhaps God sees it as an opportunity to meet with me. For me to have no distractions but Him. The thought is scary yet exciting at the same time.

Adam introduced an awesome song to our church a few weeks ago - we sang it this last Sunday and it's in my head now:

Jesus is Lord

Jesus is Lord, the cry that echoes through creation
Resplendent power, eternal Word our Rock
The Son of God - the King whose glory fills the heavens
Yet bids us come to taste this living Bread

Jesus is Lord, whose voice sustains the stars and planets
Yet in His wisdom, laid aside His crown
Jesus the Man who washed our feet; who bore our suffering
Became a curse to bring salvation's plan

Jesus is Lord, the tomb is gloriously empty
Not even death could crush this King of Love
The price is paid, the chains are loosed and we're forgiven
And we can run into the arms of God

Jesus is Lord, a shout of joy, a cry of anguish
As He returns and every knee bows low
When every eye and every heart will see His glory
The Judge of all will take His children home

Every verse of this song brings a new chill to my body as I think about all the things it talks about...although there is one line that I'm not sure I fully understand - so if anyone does read this, feel free to email or comment to help me out! "Yet bids us come to taste this living Bread", the last line of the first verse...I don't even know where to begin trying to understand - is it referring to Jesus' humanity?

If you want to hear a part of the song, I found a clip on this site:

http://www.gettymusic.com/lyrics.asp?id=35

Jobs

It's so easy to get caught up in feeling like your job defines who you are. I guess I am learning this through not having the job I want and feeling like I'm worthless or not good enough. Then I am reminded of what I am worth to God. He died so I could live. I just can't believe it. He amazes me. I seem to forget how much I am loved by Him sometimes. Often times to be honest. I should live every day in thankfulness for being saved. I try to take things into my own hands, thinking for some reason that my life is my own. I'm so glad He has the power to use people and situations to turn my face back toward Him and to humble me and teach me to surrender.

back again

So...I forgot that I started a blog. My life really isn't that exciting. But I have been inspired recently by my friend Sarah Ikegami's amazing pictures of her food in her own blog, so I will post a wonderful delish dessert I made for company tonight. It's a summer pudding with a layer of strawberries on the outside (obviously), next a thin layer of cake and then a layer of strawberry sorbet and then a layer of strawberry ice cream...so a slice outta the thing looks amazing. I'm impressed with my patience and my skills. *Phew* Now I'm ready to conquer the world.